The Car From "Notes on Mexico"

The art critic, who criticizes everything. The man who built a little house on an island so that no one could reach him. Who thinks that the size of Michelle Obama’s hips are indecent. Who takes coconut ice cream for desert instead of chocolate flan. He pulls me into a discourse about Mexican fiscal policy that I neither understand nor care about. Over a final glass of sparkling water, he explains how he recently ordered a car in much the same way one would order a pizza. He called up the company, gave them the model and his credit card number, and finally, his address. And they drove it out to him.

On the way out to my car, I see his. It is a raised white truck with painted flames along each side. This is not the car he had ordered like a pizza. He explains that it is his vehicule d’enti-enlevement. The car he drives around in so that he won’t be kidnapped.